I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
