i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
