walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
