i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
