Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I love black thongs
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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