when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
