??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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