Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
