drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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