And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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