Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
