Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
