dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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