He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
