Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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