Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
