Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
