Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
