upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
