Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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