K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
