Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize