Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
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