I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
