Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
