you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
