he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
