all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
