hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
