So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
