dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
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