Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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