Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
ugly people sure do ruin things
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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