Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Do vagina's smell?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
