She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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