I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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