Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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