True but thats because hes a fetus.
I will die if light touches me.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
