i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize