I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Just cropdusted the office
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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