Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
