Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize