garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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