bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize