he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I need water and some morals
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
