Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
