Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
