We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
