Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize