Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
