he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
