u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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