Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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