Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
