Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
