she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
We are all done wearing pants today
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
