Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm at about main and main street
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
