Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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