Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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