If i come over, it means nothing
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize