I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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