Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
