sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
