wakey wakey hands off snakey
only if we run a train.
done.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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